I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I've had time to do that, thanks to my dumb virus. I ended up heading home on Sunday to homemade soup, John Wayne movies, and some TLC. I had three days to think, fast, pray, journal, and talk to my folks about my future. (Now, don't think that I'm a saint. I still ate, I just had a certain kind of diet I stuck too.)
Monday morning, my mom headed out to water aerobics, and I hit the couch with my Bible, journal, and a 3 page letter my Mom wrote. Her letter included some notes from her Bible Study on how to discern God's will for your life and her thoughts on my idea of heading to Peru.
Going to Peru. What a life-changing, character-building, language-learning, Jesus-sharing adventure! I made the list of pros and cons. I talked to friends who had been SMs. It looked good. Man, I would be coming back such a better person.
I felt like I was always running with the positives. The big ideas. The big changes. The big adventure.
But the question remained in my heart: Is this for me, though? I asked God for peace and passion. No fleece. No stars aligning. Just peace and passion. This has been my prayer for weeks.
Too make a long story short, my time with God answered that question. He brought me to the conclusion through my time, the lists, the journaling, the prayer, the letter, and even the tears. Peru is not where God wants me next year. As soon as I came to that realization--peace--came.
Do I know what I'm doing next year? No. But do I need to know what I'm doing next year, right now? No. God has given me enough light to walk in today. And that's all I need.
~"We cannot depend for counsel upon humanity. The Lord will teach us our duty just as willingly as He will teach somebody else. If we come to Him in faith, He will speak His mysteries to us personally." Desire of Ages, p. 668
~"Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path." Psalms 119:105
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I have a neighbor whose name is Christoffer Clouzet. He's my friend too. He is actually one of the reasons that I am writing this blog.
Many of my close friends blog. We all spend a good amount of quality and quantity time together. But everyone still blogs, reads everyone's blogs, and comments one everyone's blogs. Except me. We spend a lot of our time together and talk about what's going on in our lives. Or least I thought. I started reading some of their blogs and realized what I was missing out on.
There's magic to the written word. Some thoughts and sentiments are best written and not spoken. Sharing through writing offers time for more thought, which in turn gives more meaning to the end product. I'm not sure if I my blog will be up to par with some of my eloquent English major friends or as deep as my philosophical buddies. But I'm going write to be part of my community. To share some of the thoughts I may not have shared at supper or Bible Study. To tell about the little nothings of my day that were important somethings to me. But enough about my blog. I want to get back to my friend Christoffer.
Christoffer is an amazing guy. He is a deep thinker, good listener, and he's funny. He crochets like a rockstar, makes great music mixes, likes almounds, plays fotball like Beckham, and runs faster than Forest.
Christoffer's birthday is this coming Wednesday. AND we're celebrating Stoffer-Style:
Weekend Feb 21-22
Saturday night- Carb Load & a movie
Sunday- 6K on the Biology Trail.
Why we are doing this? Because Chris is that cool! Why am I blogging? Because all my friends are that cool!