I call it: "Warm Italian Colors"

...or what popped up when I googled the phrase

My Thankful Heart

I just want to say how much I appreicate you. All of you. Your friendship and support means so much. I feel extremely blessed to have you invest in me.
Looking forward to some personal chats, with you that are back home at least.
These past 2 weeks have been a bit crazy. But you've been there. So thanks.
Milieu.

The Ranger

My grandma and I traveled to Loma Linda last Wednesday for an appointment with a doctor for proton therapy. Plan: Arrive on Wed, appointment on Thurs, fly home Fri. Check. Check. Check. But so much happened in between those accomplished goals. Sleep deprivement, for one. (Is that a word, Amanda?) But mostly connections. Connections with people, both old and new. I want to share about a new one.

Flying from Atlanta to Salt Lake City, Grandma and I were seated separately. I thought I'd ask for us to sit together, but once we loaded on, I decided, "Nah, let's just see who we sit by." I, of course, was sitting in the middle seat since we got our tickets so last minute. Window seat was empty and the aisle seat was held by another woman. As I watched the passengers walking by, I saw a solider. An older man, grey hair, glasses, dressed in his green fatigues. "Lord, help him sit by me," I prayed. Whoa! Wait a minute. I never pray to have someone sit by me. Especially a six foot plus-something guy when I'm sitting in the middle. Where did that prayer come from?

The soldier's seat was in the same row, but across the aisle-a middle seat as well. As he was stowing his pack above the seats, the lady sitting next to me told him that he could have her seat, because his "legs were longer." So there he was. The man I prayed would sit next to me, was sitting next to me.

We quickly introduced ourselves, and I immediately liked Rick. His eyes were kind and warm, and his smile contagious. Our third seat mate came soon after, Dave, also an Army Ranger dressed in plain clothes, and a helicopter pilot to boot. I found myself between these two, listening to military jargon, feeling a bit lost, and wondering if this is how my friends feel when I talk nursing with my fellow RNs. I asked them a few questions and they readily included me in the conversation, throwing in explanations so I wasn't completely lost. They swapped "jump" stories, (parachute jumps) Ranger boot camp stories, and different kinds of planes/helicopters they'd been on. I told them I dated a pilot once, but never jumped. (Man, it's impossible to "One-Up" those guys.) Both were headed out to be with their families. Rick was returning from Afghanistan just for a short leave. Rick shared that he was visiting his elderly mother and wasn't concerned that he was already on his sixth day of leave, just trying to get home. He was just glad to be on leave.

The three of us talked about pastimes, our jobs, and movies we loved. And can you believe it? They both like John Wayne! They even quoted some of his movies!

We also shared what was on our bucket list. This was the point of the conversation that it became clear that Jesus was important to me. Rick shared that he was reading the Bible now, was raised Catholic, and was now just trying to live by what the Bible taught. We talked a bit about world religions and how Christianity is different. It's not about steps to Nirvana, but about accepting a gift. The gift of Grace.

Four and half hours we spent just talking, almost non-stop. As the plane started descending, Rick said, "This just wasn't long enough." I agreed. I had never made friends that quickly, especially in a plane! We exchanged e-mails, and even took a picture.


(left to right: Rick, me, Dave)

Once we landed, the announcement was made to let the soldiers get off the plane first. Rick's response was, "I guess that mean's I can't get off with you guys....I'll wait for you guys inside, because my plane doesn't leave for a while."

Dave helped haul Grandma's luggage and I helped Grandma and held my luggage up into the airport. I hugged Dave good-bye and wished him a Merry Christmas. I turned to find Rick to wish him the same. The porter guy had already put Grandma in a wheelchair and was wheeling her away. So I quickly threw my arms around this giant man and told him thank you for what he does, and to stay in touch. He promised he would. As I jogged to catch up with my Grandma, I wondered how and why I felt such a deep connection with this man.

Arriving at our gate with time to spare, I went in search of some sustenance for us. I got in a line and Rick was in front of me! His gate was right next to ours. What are the chances! Sandwiches in hand, I introduced him to Grandma and he sat down and talked with us. He ended up leaving to visit a friend from Salt Lake and we watched his bag for him.

Now, a little more background. While we were on the plane, a thought popped into my head, "What about my Bible?" So I took my old bulletins and 3x5 note cards out and thought, "Alright God. If you want this to happen. Make it an opportune moment. This is not my thing. I don't pray for strangers to sit by me, And i don't give away my favorite travel Bible that I've had forever." With all the hustling and hubbub, I hadn't given it to him. But with him gone, I thought about it again. I wrote a note to him and put it in the front.

He came back as we needed to board. Grandma and I said good-bye. After I hugged him again, I handed my Bible to him with a "Merry Christmas." He asked what it was. (It's a real small silver metal cover, so it looks pretty different." I told him it was my travel Bible and now it could travel with him, if he wanted. He gave me another hug with a heartfelt thank you that reached his eyes, or at least that's how it felt.

As Grandma and I boarded the plane, I knew why I had been the one to go to Loma Linda. Because I was suppose to meet Rick. A stranger. A ranger. Now, my friend.

Christmas Break

What a week!



~Went to Handel's "Messiah" for the first time.

~Whirlwhind trip to Loma Linda-somewhere around 38 hours. (So good to see some of you!)

~Met and befriended two Army Rangers on a plane. (More to come on that)

~Had a white Christmas for the first time in my life!

~Learned how to drive a stick shift

Safe

Thoughts from my God journal:

November 4, 2010

The stress had left me feeling vulnerable; maybe even a bit achey.

I wanted to be held. I wanted to have arms wrapped around me, with a my head against a strong chest, curled up.
Safe. Secure.

I went to grab this [my God journal], but grabbed my Bible instead. "Weird," I thought. So I went to the shelf for this journal, but decided that maybe God wanted to talk to me, instead of me talking to Him. Psalms 139 came to mind; one of my favorites. So I opened up to it.

I got to verse 5:

"You hem me in--behind and before;
You have laid your hand upon me."

I read a cross reference too.


"...but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him." [Psalms 32:10]

And You were/are waiting for me--Big arms to envelope and surround me. With hands to hold mine.

I felt You.

Safe. Secure.

True Freedom

I'm a pretty patriotic person, in fact, it's almost genetic in my family. My grandma, who's half Swedish, remembers her father telling her, "Mary Lou, you are full-blooded American." A good melting pot mentality and something to be proud of, to be sure. Although we have our problems and are far from perfect, I'm proud to be a full-blooded American.

I love John Wayne western and war movies. I love going to baseball games. I love visiting state parks. I love fireworks and wearing patriotic colors on the 4th. I love America!

For the first part of the holiday weekend, I went home. At church this week, my brother spoke. He had our veterans stand and say what branch of the military there served in and what war. He taught the 1st Amendment and talked about the freedoms we appreciate as Americans.

Be honest with yourself and think about the last time you were thankful for freedom speech, of the press, assembly, to petition? These are part of our first Amendment rights along with freedom of Religion.

He made the point that, American freedom is really just taking away the consequences. We always have a choice.

Daniel had a choice. Go against the king, break the law to pray. He wasn't free to worship. But he did.

Joseph had a choice. To obey his mistress. He was a slave with no freedom. But he said "no."

Reformers didn't have a choice but to recant. But they didn't. And many burned. Lois De Berquin was such a man. He was a French knight that found against the Catholic church and was burned at the stake for standing against the church, making him the first Protestant French martyr.


True freedom, isn't an American luxury. It doesn't come from a country, our Constitution, or Ammendments, but from the Lord.

"...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Cor 3:17B

Oklahoma!

I love road trips. I love doing new things. And the Fisher Family Farm had it all.
I could write about all the cool things that we did and how excited I was to to be there, to experience a place that I had heard so much about, to fall in love with a family whose passion for God, family, and hard-work is inspiring. But to be honest, you just have to experience it for yourself. That being said let me share a few things that I got to do:

Pick, Shuck, & Cut Corn












Chased and Branded Cows








Enjoyed the Pond








Hanging out at the Farm







And for the Grand Finale--the play "Oklahoma!" and the Oklahoma 2 Step







Thank you Fisher Family



PS-I hit my 46th State!

In the Mood

Last night Tyler and I went to a big band concert. The Glen Miller Band was fantastic! I couldn't stop smiling! After intermission, Tyler and I both agreed that we couldn't stay in our seats.

So we danced.



The announcer had said that people were welcome to dance on the sides and in the front, but nobody had taken her up on the offer.

Until us.

Tyler and I bounced up to the front and started dancing, figuring that we would be joined by the masses. We were mistaken--we were truly the only takers! The second song that we danced to they put the spotlight on us.

I haven't done something so gutsy in awhile. And you know what? It felt good. Really, really good.

SNOW DAY!

Today it snowed. And it was A-Mazing!

Finally!

So, on Tuesday, December 1 I got the good news. 2 months and 4 days since the incident AND 5 Doctor visits later,I got "released" from my hand surgeon!
Now, it's been getting better, slowly but surely. I could type, change dirty diapers at work, and even play the piano a little. But now, it's official--I'm free! My pinky is still a little swollen and you can still see where my pins were, but I'm thrilled.
I've learned a lot through this entire experience. I've learned how it is to be a patient. It's really different swapping sides in the healthcare world. I'm used to being the one passing meds, educating, comforting, and mostly scrambling to get everything done. Now, I was the one taking medication, asking questions, hurting, and feeling lost.
I can tell you, that my compassion has grown leaps and bounds.

Bad things happen. We can get jumbled up, stressed out, put down, pink slipped, sleep deprived, and stretched till we snap.
But one thing always remains the same. God. He's there. He's constant. He's listening. He cares. He wants to know our soul.

Sometimes, it takes a good "down & out" for me to stop running around in my little productive circles and take the time to look up, take a deep breath, and give it up.

"Be still." Right, God. Keep reminding me.

I've learned another lesson. I wonder how many more times I'll have to learn it?

Brokenness.-(no, but really)

Sabbath i played football and hurt my finger. got x-rays.



(pic post surgery. you can see the pins)

diagnosis: impacted angulated comminuted fracture.

translation: jammed into socket, sticking out to the side of my hand. And there's loose bone fragments. AKA real bad break.

consult with a hand surgeon on sunday.
Rx: i have surgery today. general anesthesia.

no breakfast. no fluids. no work orientation.
4-6 weeks recovery. longer to start work.

i feel: frustrated, put out, hungry, cranky, angry, sad, and depressed. oh, did i mention scared?

BUT i know: that this is an opportunity to grow. i am going-- to learn to be patient with myself, learn to lean on others, learn that my time frame isn't what makes the world go around.

AND i'm so blessed. i have insurance. i have surgery right away. i have family to drive me around. and it's not my whole hand. or neck.


"THERE IS NO WISDOM, NO INSIGHT, NO PLAN THAT CAN SUCCEED AGAINST THE LORD."
PROV 21:30

(i'm glad He can make something good happen out of this)

"BE JOYFUL ALWAYS; PRAY CONTINUALLY; GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS." 1THES 4:16-18

(this is something else i can to my work-on list)

God is good. Thanks for you thoughts & prayers.

Coffee & Cream...Cheese

Today I got up before the sun. This may not seem like a big deal, but it’s been a while for me. I did my 7 minute abs routine, got dressed, ate an English muffin, and hopped into a borrowed van. I headed downtown to take my soon-to-be-new-friends to their doctors appointment.

Silly as may seem to the reader, I was a bit anxious about the whole event. I hate borrowing vehicles and driving to unfamiliar locations. And doing it while I was suppose to be friendly and hostessing to these new people. The latter, being something that I sincerely enjoy, just not under pressure.

I got to their house early and they invited me in and handed the TV remote. Their middle-eastern charm and warmness won me over quickly. They handed me a sandwich and encouraged me to “eat, eat” it. Not wanting to offend my host I quickly took the plate, thankful for the knowledge that my friends were Muslim. I would eat whatever they put before me no matter what, but I was relieved to know I wouldn’t be eating pork! I bit into the sandwich. I was relieved to find a kind of cream cheese filling. Although not hungry, I managed to eat the whole thing, while settling on watching the news. I figured that would be a safe venue. But once the news anchor started droning about terrorists, I quickly flipped to another station!

While communicating with the dad, I found out they had only been in America for a short time. So I said, “Well, welcome to America!” As soon as those words were out of my mouth, he stood up. I followed suit. He grabbed both my hands and kissed both my cheeks & then looked me in the eye and said, “Thank you.”

Before long they were ready to go. We loaded the car seat, the adorable 14th month child, and headed to the doctor. Now, we had shared quite a few smiles, but conversation was tough. They only know Arabic & French, and I only know two phrases in French: “Boujour” & “ne parle pas le français” so that didn’t aide me at all!

As we waited for the doctor, we worked on English. They could read it well, but comprehension is still coming. They read off education charts on the walls, while I encouraged them and gave them pointers. The couple is super intelligent and picked up a lot from our short time together. Then I started asking them to teach me simple phrases in Arabic and French. Unfortnately, I retained nothing. (Ode to the next time.) But it felt good to us all to trade the roles of student and pupil. By the end, we were laughing and joking about eye lashes and skin color, all having a splendid time.

When we arrived back at their house, they asked and strongly encouraged me to come back in for coffee. I willingly obliged, enjoying this new culture experience, and wanting to really show my interest in my new friends. They asked about my family, their occupations, and how long they had lived “in Tennessee, in America.” We talked about their sons as well. The three of us sat down with small, but potent tea cups of coffee. I rarely (ok, never) drink my coffee black, but I did today. It was extremely dark & rich. As I took my last sip, deep coffee sludge covered the bottom of my dainty tea cup.

The dad walked me down to my car, kissed me again on both cheeks, and then the forehead. And for a few seconds, I thought I’d have a kissing story that would top Nate’s, luckily he still takes the prize. And asked me if I’d come tomorrow for tea. (And I thought Southerners were hospitable!)

My day was like my dainty teacup of coffee. A small, seemingly insignificant set of events, yet surprisingly potent. I had an adventure today, both culturally and culinarally. When my head hits the pillow tonight, I will be a richer person because of today.

Points of Cheer

(AKA, The Best Part of My Weekend!)

Amanda Jehle visited. Wonderful it was, to have a kindred spirit home!

A surpise knock at my front door by two friends recently back from an epic road trip.
(Yeah, Ben & Nick are home!)
Which also lead to some fun hang out time with lots of friends at Ben's house.

An unexpected phone call from Brittany Gimbel!
Amanda, Nick, the Bens, and got to talk to her too.

Gimbel Update...again

Gimbel posted up pics on her blog. But if you are like me, you didn't get an update. So, I thought I'd pass on the message. Hope like is going good for you all. Happy Summer!

News Blip

Hey friends! I miss youand can't wait to see you all soon!
The News Update:

So, I just got off the phone with Gimbel. She's in Peru, safe & sound. She had kind of a crazy time getting there, (missed her flight from Lima to final destination) but she did finally arrive. She said she can't believe how much Spanish she's already learned and she's loved the clinics they've been running this week. At the base where she's staying there's running water and some electricity, a definite perk. I think she's feeling overwhelmed, but you know our Gimbel--a smile on her face (I could hear it) and she's ready for anything. She says hello and milieu to all.

I'm looking forward to new adventures this next year with you guys.
And I have an idea---Peru anyone?

PS Good Pic Nick!

The Update

So About Last Week...

I came to camp this summer for my girls last week. I was there for them. I felt it. I knew it. And the best thing--I could totally feel God using me. Last week was my most favorite cabin ever! It was great, but still hard.

So many times in life, we don't know if we're "planting seeds" or not. But, man....it was INCREDIBLE to know that, to feel that. The whole second part of the week, I felt God using me. When questions were asked, answers were said. I wasn't worried about what I said, because I truly felt that God was answering them. He had been preparing me for last Friday night for years. I pulled things from religion classes from college, a few things from highschool, a random book I picked up last week. It reminded me that I need to keep learning and growing. Never stop. Because you'll always use it. Like my great-grandma used to say: "No knowledge is ever wasted."

Yep, Grandma. You were right.

I Love My Job

I love my job, But I hate it.

So, I think this has been my favorite year at camp. I feel old school, I'm more involved than I've ever been, and I love it! The staff is great, the old and the new, the volleyball is amazing, and I love my campers. Esp. this week during teen camp. Although, I'm not going to lie, there's been some hard stuff too.

I forget how blessed I am so much of the time. Last night, I was reminded of the fact, when a camper shared about her life.

That's why I'm here. You know, to be there for those late night talks over animal crackers. To listen compassionately, to hug warmly, to ask the right questions, and pray with them. It's the part of my job that I'm passionate about, but I hate it at the same time as well. I always feel so wiped out after a deep talk like that. I feel exhausted today, and Friday night is staring me in the face. It's the big night. The reason we are all here.

BUT.

But, it's not about me. In his strength, I am made perfect. So, I've gotten hugs from some of my peeps and I'm sending up prayers.

I love you all and miss you. Sorry I haven't kept up well. It's super busy and I hate being on the PC in the office.

So Milieu to my dear ones!

Gimbel

She has her own blogsite now! Check it out!

brittanygimbel@blogspot.com

J. Jones

10 Things that Epitomize Justin Jones according to Gravy





1. "Bullet Proof Vest"






2. "Things have really, really, really gotten good."









3. Great listener and a good shoulder to cry on







4. Owns the word "Awesome!"








5. Argues really, really, really good with Gimbel







6. Driving Through Vermont at 3 in the Morning







7. Amazing at the Hand-slapping/push-over-the-other- person-game

(No Photo Available)

8. Great at Karaoke

(Sorry, this was the only photo available: He's the guy on the right with the hat.)

9. His Passion for People







10. All this--and he still wants to be my Friend!

Endings

I'm sitting at my desk job in the Wellness Center, finishing my last shift (I've got 12 minutes left). I just completed Blink, the book I've been reading, and earlier today I went to my last college class and took my very last test. It's over. It's ended.

In the past few weeks, I've played my last intramural game, written my last paper, presented my last presentation, and said my last funny in class.

It's not just the events and milestones that are over, I've decided. It's a lot of friendships and people too. The people I always "do the nod" to on the Promenade, my field friends, my fellow RNs that I've had class with for four years, my neighbors I eat meals with, my weekend buddies, my late-night movie watching fries, the family...
Sure, I'll stay in contact with some, but others not at all. I mean really, I don't think everyone wants to read my Christmas letter! ;-)

Anthony Handal and I ate peanut butter & jelly sandwiches together for lunch today--the first peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that we ate since finishing college--and we talked about endings. Anthony mused that God created endings for a real positive reason, just like beginnings. That makes since, I mean He's the Alpha & Omega, the Beginning and the End. He also had the Tree guarded so sin wouldn't last forever, and so we could all get another fresh start. So in someway or another, every ending is a promise of another beginning.

We celebrate beginnings--from birthdays and anniverseries to ship cristenings. But I guess we celebrate endings too with graduations and retirement parties. So maybe this blog isn't that profound with new thoughts on endings, but still. Endings are bittersweet.

So, as I finish this blog, my last blog as a college student, like after six hours after I wrote the first paragraph, here are my concluding thoughts:

Its okay for endings to still be bittersweat. Endings are filled with goody-byes and those are okay to mourn. But, there's a promise of another beginning. New adventures, new wonders, and even if those are scary, there's always another promise I can remember:

There's a beginning we can all share together--where we all get to live close to each other again--(you too, Amanda), where stress has no solace, and where we get to be with the Guy who put us all together. Don't miss it.

So, Cheers to Endings & the soon-to-be-beginnings!